Frustrated. Angry. Numb. After changing the channels and continuing to scroll through image after image, I was finally stopped in my tracks. The image of this young man in his graduation regalia, standing across from a burning building, in the middle of a protest happening in the middle of a global health pandemic, held me hostage. Everything about his demeanor said, “I did everything “Right” but still…”
Whether the fires are burning buildings, or burning the guts and souls of those who daily have to bear the brunt of neglect, systemic racism, and flat out white supremacy… how much more can be endured before crumbling? I know what hope looked like in 2008, but is this the reality of what hope looks like for many of our black and brown people in 2020? I wish I could tell this young man things will get better, but if he were to look me in my eyes and say, “Fuck all that,” I would understand.
The famous phrase from the Declaration of Independence, “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness”, that folks turned up for (Boston Tea Party and Revolutionary War) has crossed my mind many times recently. The first word is in that phrase is “LIFE!” Before I can even get to liberty and the pursuit of happiness, I need my life to matter! This young man’s life has to matter! Yet, here we are.
I can do everything “Right” but still…
While there are countless perspectives to be shared on how one should manage their anger and pent up rage, this system and its institutions don’t have emotions. This system does not operate with sympathy or empathy. While it impacts us in a very personal way, it just functions. That’s what it is designed to do.
Similarly to our computers and phones, it has its own operating systems. Those operating systems are programmed to respond a certain way given a certain input by the user. If you don’t know the right inputs, then it won’t work the way you think it should. Therefore, you can do everything “Right” but still…
⁃ End up with mountains of student loan debt that will take a lifetime to payoff
⁃ Need to work twice as hard to be just as acceptable
⁃ End up with unequal pay and benefits
⁃ Get pulled over for doing nothing wrong
⁃ Be stereotyped and become victims of micro aggressions and unconscious bias
⁃ Be killed in broad daylight by a cop for an alleged misdemeanor crime
⁃ Have to protest for basic human rights in 2020
The list goes on…
While these institutions and systems are made up of individuals, many do not realize or accept that they are active participants in perpetuating the ill-effects of them. Perhaps this can explain why some might feel personally attacked when those roles and benefits come under scrutiny. However, ignorance does not absolve one of wrongdoing. I have a friend that often says, “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.”
There are some very grim realities that need to be faced in this country around race relations, especially if we look at root causes and not symptoms. By looking at intent versus impact, we are forced to reconcile to reality. Think of it this way, if your check engine light comes on in your car, do you turn it off and think the issue is solved? No, you fix the underlying issue that illuminated the light.
Although my heart hurts, as a black man, I don’t have the privilege of being able to ignore these realities. But what I can do is commit myself to some things that will help equip me for my next steps on this journey. As I continue to achieve, fail forward and pick myself up again and again, I remind myself that knowledge is indeed power but the application of that knowledge is where wisdom and action collide. While I don’t have all the answers, I do have some things in mind:
1. Learn how I’ve been programmed.
Much of the framework and blueprints for how society functions around us and how we function within it is explained by the social sciences (Economics, Political Science, Law, History, Psychology, etc.) While I could spend a lifetime diving deep into each one, a fundamental understanding of each of them can provide a better sense of how the levers of society work and how they got to be the way they are. In addition, understanding the fundamentals of business and combining that with the fundamentals of the social sciences can help develop a more dynamic perspective.
2. Unlearn/delete some of the code programmed into me.
Growing up in the projects with a single mother and two sisters, I learned how to survive through adverse circumstances. I developed defense mechanisms and right alongside all of that, I developed insecurities. I learned how to suppress my true thoughts and feelings as it might jeopardize my chances to “make it out.” I have to continue to cultivate the self-love and confidence in myself and know that I am worthy just the way I am and anything else I bring to the table is a bonus. I no longer want to just survive, want to thrive and I am entitled to that.
3. Create or align with a vision for how I want things to be.
I have a wife, children, family, and friends, and I want them all to live life to the fullest. But what does that look like? What adjustments need to be made in order to get there? Pairing this with item number 1 will help me to create a plan or align with one that already exists. We don’t always have to reinvent the wheel. There are many people that specialize and have already been doing the work for the change that we may want to see. Sometimes we just have to do the work to find them.
4. Be aware of communication vantage points.
It’s one thing to have opposing views to someone else, but what hurts progress is when two people have the same intentions and goals but the conversation stalls because the vantage points differ. One person can be making a philosophical statement, another is talking about policy and the other is talking logistics. They all want the same thing but don’t feel heard because their vantage points aren’t being acknowledged and a communication gap is formed. I will work to be a better listener and also make my vantage point clear when having conversations.
5. Build my community/team.
Whether it’s family, church, colleagues, or friends, community is vital to success. Life isn’t a one person show. You need to be poured into and you need to pour into others. I love the phrases “each one, teach one” and “show me your friends and I will show you your future.” As I have been mentored by many over the years, I believe it is my obligation to do that for others. However, the learning and leaning should never stop. Tap your community for support and be ready to show up when others need you.
6. Support black owned businesses and non-profits (local and national).
Whether I assist with my time or money, these organizations need support. Many have amazing missions and products and they need the community’s support to go to the next level. Oftentimes, these business are run by a single individual or a small group but they still have to manage all of the responsibilities, whereas their larger competitors are able to task out. They have to do sales, manufacturing, customer service, public relations, and everything else, all at once. They are doing their best with what they have and supporting is the least I can do.
7. Use my voice.
Whether it’s while I have a seat at a table, through a social media post, a vote, a conversation with colleague or a young person, I will use my voice to speak my truth and raise the voices of those that are not being heard. Our voice is an invisible weapon that if channeled properly, will aid us throughout the fight for equity and justice. And to my young brotha in the picture, whether you decide to subscribe to these ideas, generate a plan of your own or burn some shit down, I still love you. You matter to me!
